Brain power

I have this article assigned for homework, and it made me think.

Through trying to test the limits of our brain to top it with computers, we may just be realizing that the brain cannot be topped. We may come that much closer to understanding it, but in our understanding we may find that it is ultimately non-understandable, beyond the realm of understanding. Through the competition of events we find the beauty behind the brain, we test its metal, revealing a goliath of an organ that none of our david’s can best because this time, God is on their side.

The complex structure of the brain may just show how God cannot be bested, how his ways really are higher than our ways, as the heavens are higher than the earth. However powerful google execs may think that they are, God is infinitely more powerful. His ways cannot be understood; they can only be known enough to realize their unknowability.

But whatever gain I had I count as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith, that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward toward what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:7-14

1.What does it mean to count everything as loss?
2.What does it mean to suffer the loss of all things?
3.What does it mean to have a righteousness of God through faith and not of the law?
4.What is the law?
5. Why is it worth it?
6. Who is Christ Jesus?
7. Why is He worth it?
8. Where is "in Christ"?
9. When does someone become "in Christ"?
10. What is lost by Paul?
11.What is gained?
12. How does one share in Christ's suffering?
13.What did Christ suffer?
14. What does it mean to be perfect?
15. What is the upward call of God?
16. Why is it (the call) in Christ Jesus?
17. Who are "Brothers"?
18. What does it mean "Christ has made me his own"?
19. What lies ahead?
20. Why would one forget what lies behind?

Promises

I found this post in the drafts folder:

"For my New Years resolution this year, I resolved to write in my blog once a week, at least. Considering I have a blog for one of my art classes, I have probably kept writing (or posting) at least one once a week, but I don't think that counts. So I haven't kept up with my resolution. Surprise!
I think this post is cheating, personally, but I am going to count it as my first one. I even procrastinated to get this one done until the day that I am going to talk to the person who will keep me accountable to my resolution. Yesss :).
But it won't be all bad! I'd like to also give this blog something from my journal, something semi legible. This will probably be more like emotional word vomit then a well crafted poem because, like blog-writing, I haven't written poetry in awhile. But no worries. Soon my emotional backup will all come sputtering out and I'll get to the god stuff :).
Until then, this is what I have :)"

Its either a good thing that I didn't post it because I'm pretty sure it was the last post I wrote for a long time, but it could have been a bad thing b/c it prevented me from being accountable.
It reminds me of my promises to God:
-I will always obey you
-I will follow you
- I will give you my life
-I will be a witness to you
-I will forsake sin
-I will work hard for you
-I will love those you love
-I will seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with you
-I will come to you
-I will trust you

 He knows I can't keep these, yet he lets me make them anyways. He accepts my promises, but He knows that the only promises that last are his own.
When God made the covenant with Abraham in Genesis 15 , He fulfilled both sides of the covenant by walking through the split animal twice. Traditionally, each person involved in the covenant would walk through a split animal to say "may the same happen to me as this animal if I break the covenant", but God knew that Abraham wouldn't be able to keep his end of the covenant. Later, the fulfillment of God's covenant came into existence when Jesus died on the cross and forgave everyone's sins. Because of this, many people became children of God and heirs in the covenant of Abraham. Through Jesus,

"Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus. In him, this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God’s Yes and our Yes together, gloriously evident. God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his Yes within us. By his Spirit he has stamped us with his eternal pledge—a sure beginning of what he is destined to complete." 2 Corinthians 1:20-22, message

Go to the book of Isaiah, and every promise made applies to a christian.
We can plead these promises before God .

 "Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help." Hebrews 4:16, message

He is ready to help us beyond imagining if we ask. This site claim to have links to all of the promises of the bible
And I have not found a verse that says he will make sure I write in my blog every day, so that is clearly why He did not fulfill that ;)

Branson

From 3 years ago. I think it's pretty
 
Today marks the tenth day of my stay in Branson, MO; ten days out of ten weeks. It is nice here. The trees take up most of the skyline with leafy green, and the branched tiers naturally draw the eye upwards.

A dangerous prayer

I just prayed this prayer
"Lord, I want to be put in the middle of people so broken that I either have to show my brokenness too or leave because I am too judgmental to stand them. Amen."

I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't want to be living like this,
 looking good and feeling so incredibly bad
for all of the bad that I keep inside
instead of letting it all out and showing people
my wounds
just to realize that my wounds have become white with the healing of Jesus.

I want them to see
but I am afraid my wounds will be unclean
I am afraid I will be kicked out of the camp
I am afraid to be labeled "unclean" until things get better
I am afraid my wounds are raw and contagious.

God has washed me whiter than snow.
I am washed, and I am confident
he has turned all my wounds into white scars
clean, a testimony to his healing
I want to be able to show them
in the center of camp
without worrying that I will be kicked out.

I can't live on my own.
Jesus is in the desert,
but please come and speak to me
I can't do this.

When will I be okay?
*I am okay
When will I be open?
*I am open before Jesus, and when I come to realize this and put that relationship higher than all others, I will be able to be open
When will my want for community outweigh my shame and my fear and my pride?
*when I have tasted community and want more and more and more
When will I believe that I can't hide it anymore?
*When I can't
When will I believe that I can't hide it anymore?
*When I expose it

Season

I am going through a hard season right now. I found out that I don't really know much about my feelings. I love work. I can get so caught up in it and the constant doing doing doing, and I just push my emotions down. I don't stop to think about them, I don't stop at all.
Well, I didn't stop before this year. I do now. I don't really have much of a choice. It is so nice to be able to slow down, way down. I haven't let myself do that since, man, probably middle school. Its been too long.
It so paradoxical that God uses the hard times in our life to make us better, to grow us. Plants grow in good conditions, why wouldn't humans?

What is it about us?
What makes us grow when everything around us pushes us down,
When the ground is hard and the air is cold,
When the night takes forever and the day is dull?

What is it about us?
What makes us different from the flowers and grass,
When the environment says no and we keep trying to reach up,
When everything is nothing and we manage to go on?

What is it about us that is so special?

Mistakes

Note to self: Do not let the fear of making mistakes prevent you from moving at all. Make decisions. Make mistakes. Move on.
I am not responsible for providing a way out of my mistakes, I just have to take what God's grace gives me. He did not give me grace so that I could stand there and just know I am forgiven. He gave grace b/c He knew I would/always will need it. Can I say that God's grace is kinda scary? I have no control over it. I don't have the knowledge of how it is going to come, I don't have any way to make it happen, I just have to believe that it will come and live my life accordingly.
Btw, this is total future projection. I am nowhere close to knowing God's grace. Right now I live my life as if every little action I make will affect eternity forever. Silly little girl, who are you to think you can affect the eternal? Who are you to think you are able to change God (the only eternal,the basis of all eternal things)? More important is why I think He needs changing. I think it just boils down to control. I have no control of grace, so I want to change the way it works. I want to know how it comes, from where, what I can do to make it happen. I want control. Self, open your eyes. Can't you see from this week, this semester that anything you have control over goes wrong? Not neccarily terribly bad, just wrong. Not right. Not godly. Can't you see only God is godly, and only actions, even "godly" actions, are wrong w/o Him behind it?