It's been raining for a while

So I realized that I don't really write about my life. I just throw out the crazy ideas I've been thinking about, but I guess the bible tells a lot about people's lives. Not that that means I need to.

Its been raining constantly. They failed to tell me that it rains so much in Louisiana. I love it; there is something about the gray that makes me happy. I am in that place where all the people I know here have past that initial friendly phase and the real friendships need to be built. It makes me want to go spill my life to every person I know and hide in my room all at the same time. I don't want to be real because I feel like the real me just says the wrong things at the wrong times in the wrong way. But I really am tired of being alone.
Oh, reading over this makes me feel like one of those lonely bloggers who sits in his room and spills his life on the computer because he is too scared to do it for real. Oh well, I really don't care who reads this. Honestly, I would be fine if no one read it.

I have been thinking about mentorship again. I ask for someone to mentor, someone to walk beside me, and someone to mentor me practically every day. I feel like I need it.
One of my friends said that before you get married you should find out about yourself, because you have to be able to explain yourself to your spouse. I think that is really true. I want to find out about myself more, but I don't know how or where to begin. Even if I choose not to get married, I still think it is a good thing to know. How can I give myself to people if I don't know exactly what I am giving? And this applies to friendships as much as relationships. Everything I do should be giving myself to other people.

The rain makes me wish I were doing something important. It makes me want to sit back and be satisfied with what I am doing. Right now I just sit back and wish I hadn't put off what I was supposed to be doing. Wish I weren't so scared of things. Wish I were more motivated.

So I have to go work on art now. I am thinking of declaring an art major, maybe with a religious studies minor. I've decided to drop chemistry because it was just taking too much of my time. It is a good thing. In my art class we were supposed to be sketching everyday, but I haven't done any so now I have like 40 drawings to do in my sketch book before Tuesday. Gah, plus an art project, plus a paper. I love art, but it really is time consuming. I am tempted to just save this as a draft, or read over it and revise it. I think I am just gonna post it.