Promises

I found this post in the drafts folder:

"For my New Years resolution this year, I resolved to write in my blog once a week, at least. Considering I have a blog for one of my art classes, I have probably kept writing (or posting) at least one once a week, but I don't think that counts. So I haven't kept up with my resolution. Surprise!
I think this post is cheating, personally, but I am going to count it as my first one. I even procrastinated to get this one done until the day that I am going to talk to the person who will keep me accountable to my resolution. Yesss :).
But it won't be all bad! I'd like to also give this blog something from my journal, something semi legible. This will probably be more like emotional word vomit then a well crafted poem because, like blog-writing, I haven't written poetry in awhile. But no worries. Soon my emotional backup will all come sputtering out and I'll get to the god stuff :).
Until then, this is what I have :)"

Its either a good thing that I didn't post it because I'm pretty sure it was the last post I wrote for a long time, but it could have been a bad thing b/c it prevented me from being accountable.
It reminds me of my promises to God:
-I will always obey you
-I will follow you
- I will give you my life
-I will be a witness to you
-I will forsake sin
-I will work hard for you
-I will love those you love
-I will seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with you
-I will come to you
-I will trust you

 He knows I can't keep these, yet he lets me make them anyways. He accepts my promises, but He knows that the only promises that last are his own.
When God made the covenant with Abraham in Genesis 15 , He fulfilled both sides of the covenant by walking through the split animal twice. Traditionally, each person involved in the covenant would walk through a split animal to say "may the same happen to me as this animal if I break the covenant", but God knew that Abraham wouldn't be able to keep his end of the covenant. Later, the fulfillment of God's covenant came into existence when Jesus died on the cross and forgave everyone's sins. Because of this, many people became children of God and heirs in the covenant of Abraham. Through Jesus,

"Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus. In him, this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God’s Yes and our Yes together, gloriously evident. God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his Yes within us. By his Spirit he has stamped us with his eternal pledge—a sure beginning of what he is destined to complete." 2 Corinthians 1:20-22, message

Go to the book of Isaiah, and every promise made applies to a christian.
We can plead these promises before God .

 "Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help." Hebrews 4:16, message

He is ready to help us beyond imagining if we ask. This site claim to have links to all of the promises of the bible
And I have not found a verse that says he will make sure I write in my blog every day, so that is clearly why He did not fulfill that ;)

Branson

From 3 years ago. I think it's pretty
 
Today marks the tenth day of my stay in Branson, MO; ten days out of ten weeks. It is nice here. The trees take up most of the skyline with leafy green, and the branched tiers naturally draw the eye upwards.

A dangerous prayer

I just prayed this prayer
"Lord, I want to be put in the middle of people so broken that I either have to show my brokenness too or leave because I am too judgmental to stand them. Amen."

I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't want to be living like this,
 looking good and feeling so incredibly bad
for all of the bad that I keep inside
instead of letting it all out and showing people
my wounds
just to realize that my wounds have become white with the healing of Jesus.

I want them to see
but I am afraid my wounds will be unclean
I am afraid I will be kicked out of the camp
I am afraid to be labeled "unclean" until things get better
I am afraid my wounds are raw and contagious.

God has washed me whiter than snow.
I am washed, and I am confident
he has turned all my wounds into white scars
clean, a testimony to his healing
I want to be able to show them
in the center of camp
without worrying that I will be kicked out.

I can't live on my own.
Jesus is in the desert,
but please come and speak to me
I can't do this.

When will I be okay?
*I am okay
When will I be open?
*I am open before Jesus, and when I come to realize this and put that relationship higher than all others, I will be able to be open
When will my want for community outweigh my shame and my fear and my pride?
*when I have tasted community and want more and more and more
When will I believe that I can't hide it anymore?
*When I can't
When will I believe that I can't hide it anymore?
*When I expose it