Note to self: Do not let the fear of making mistakes prevent you from moving at all. Make decisions. Make mistakes. Move on.
I am not responsible for providing a way out of my mistakes, I just have to take what God's grace gives me. He did not give me grace so that I could stand there and just know I am forgiven. He gave grace b/c He knew I would/always will need it. Can I say that God's grace is kinda scary? I have no control over it. I don't have the knowledge of how it is going to come, I don't have any way to make it happen, I just have to believe that it will come and live my life accordingly.
Btw, this is total future projection. I am nowhere close to knowing God's grace. Right now I live my life as if every little action I make will affect eternity forever. Silly little girl, who are you to think you can affect the eternal? Who are you to think you are able to change God (the only eternal,the basis of all eternal things)? More important is why I think He needs changing. I think it just boils down to control. I have no control of grace, so I want to change the way it works. I want to know how it comes, from where, what I can do to make it happen. I want control. Self, open your eyes. Can't you see from this week, this semester that anything you have control over goes wrong? Not neccarily terribly bad, just wrong. Not right. Not godly. Can't you see only God is godly, and only actions, even "godly" actions, are wrong w/o Him behind it?
David, the murderer of a faithful husband, the adulterer, the prideful census-taking king was a man after God's heart. Saul, the Pharisee of Pharisees who held an innocent man's clothes while he was murdered, became one of the most staunch defenders of Christian faith and planted so many churches across the known world. Rahab the harlot (or inkeeper, depending on how you translate) helped overthrow an godless government and instill a theocracy in Israel's earliest days. perhaps i think that you define "godly" too narrowly. perhaps i define it wrongly. but maybe, just maybe, this is a viewpoint to consider. and maybe it is Truth.
ReplyDeletei respectfully disagree with what it seems you're saying here. who is Moses to convince God to avert his angry and NOT destroy the nation of Israel? who is Abraham to try and reason with God not to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah on the account of even 10 righteous people amongst all the evil? who is the centurion to beg Jesus to heal his loyal servant? who is the hemorrhaging woman to be bold enough to grab Jesus' cloak? hindsight allows us to see these people as a finished product, but we simply can't know what was going on in their heads as they proceeded through life, desperately begging the Almighty to change. just my $.02.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I like $.02. I was thinking more of the character of God being unchanging, but you're right that we can cause God to change directions (which kinda scares me right now).
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